“For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation.” -Rainer Maria Rilke
A connected relationship can be the most rewarding and fulfilling experience of being human. At the same time, there is no greater foundation to manifest our deepest wounds and insecurities . Many people do not even realize they have difficulties with trust, intimacy, or abandonment until they find themselves struggling to date or maintain healthy partnerships.
Common ways this may manifest:
Do you find yourself repeatedly disappointed by friends or partners?
Are you tired of always giving more than you receive in a relationship?
Do you find yourself exhausted by relationships, and no matter how hard you try, you never seem to be good enough?
Have you told yourself you don’t need anyone else, and would rather be alone than engage in the closeness and work of a relationship?
Do you struggle to let go, or know when it is time to move on? Or do you find yourself clinging to and obsessing over someone who has already moved on from you?
Have you found yourself engaging in behaviors that you’re ashamed of, but can’t seem to control? Perhaps you feel that you don’t even know why you’re doing it.
The therapeutic relationship is a foundation from which you can explore patterns you are engaging in that no longer serve you, or are even sabotaging your search for love and connection. Often times, this involves an expedition into our earliest years of life when we first learned to trust or distrust our caretakers. It is during this time that we begin developing methods to protect ourselves from pain and rejection, and these methods carry on through adulthood without our knowledge.
There is hope! We are not destined to repeat unhelpful patterns forever. With some work, we can learn to open ourselves to others, choose healthy partners, make boundaries, and regulate our own feelings in a relationship.
If any of the above resonates with you, contact me today. Together, we can unravel and rebuild your interpersonal habits to build a life of rewarding intimacy and connection.